KAL KORFF SUFFERS FROM PENILE ERECTION DYSFUNCTION!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
S3 HEALTH AND ERECTION DIVISION
--------------------------------------

It can NOW be confirmed that Kal K Korff suffers from penile erection dysfunction.
This shocking information comes from an "anonymous" source.


The source

Apparently Kal's problem "flying the flag up the pole" has been going on for a long time. The source stated that: "Kal always had trouble getting Private Parts to stand at attention, if you know what I mean. It seemed the only way to get his rocket to launch was to repeat the name ROYCE over and over again.

This explains the lack of cleanliness on the part of Kal Korff, I mean why bother showering when you can get your one inch wonder to stand up and take a bow?

Kal Korff smacked down by Illinois Newspaper

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Kal K Korff, imitation S3 member and admitted pedophile, recently was smacked down by the newspaper Illinois Valley News.

The article:
http://www.illinois-valley-news.com/archive/2009/05/20/story-korff.html

Kal is once again claiming more outlandish bullshit regarding his convicted felon brother, Kurtis K Korff, who by the way is an admitted Neo-Nazi.

It seems as though Kal, who was recently spotted urinating on a Koran, is back from his low key hiatus and is ramping up his onslaught of bullshit and lies.

Far be it from me, a TRUE member of S3, to resort to any sort of lies or un truths!

EVERYTHING ON THIS BLOG IS THE TRUTH!

Also, a shocking NEW documentary by an award winning Canadian film maker will shortly be released. Its topic? KAL K KORFF!!!!

Yes, Kal, who claims to have an IQ of 200, but whom was described as "mildly retarded" by Rob McConnell, had NO idea this undercover film was being made about himself.

I expect this film to gross $1000000000000 and win many Oscars!!!

Kal Korff tied to holocaust denier!!!

BREAKING NEWS

S3 can finally reveal the results of an investigation that has, until now, been kept secret.

Kal K Korff is linked to notorious Holocaust Denial website www.rense.com, owned and run by notorious racist Jeff Rense.

Jeff Rense is a "proud" Jew hater. This is obvious by the front page of his website, which is full of disgusting anti-Jewish lies and slanders!

Where does Kal Korff fit into all this?

KAL KORFF HAS HAD A REGULAR CORRESPONDENCE WITH JEFF RENSE FOR YEARS

Look at these links:
http://www.rense.com/general50/kr.htm
http://www.rense.com/RenseInterviews.html

Do a search for Kal Korff on the rense.com search function and see the many MANY involvements Kal K Korff has with this anti-semite!

S# General F1 Racer has recently confirmed that the ADL has been notified about Kal K Korff's involvement with Jeff Rense. Also, the Czech Authorities have also been alerted so that Kal can be denied entry to the EU because of his Holocaust Denial associations!

S3 confirms: Kal K Korff is NOT Jewish

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Israeli Special Secret Services(tm) aka S3 (tm) has recently confirmed that Kal K Korff is NOT Jewish and is only claiming to be Jewish to try and garner sympathy and for monetary gain.


S3 General F1 Racer, speaking from his office in Haifa, made the announcement yesterday.

"For years Kal K Korff has been claiming to be Jewish. However, THIS IS NOT TRUE as verified by S3's 'Ethnic Investigation Division' which seeks out false claims of being Jewish worldwide", General Racer proclaimed.

"The FACT is Kal K Korff believes in the old false stereotype of Jews controlling the media and banks worldwide and, in an attempt to gain financial profit, has attempted to pass himself off as a Jew. The FACT is Kal is a Christian, an Evangelical one at that, as by his OWN ADMITTANCE in an article in the San Jose Mercury News"

"Kal's false claims enable us here at S3 to prosecute him for hate crimes, which are now being filed in the US state of Oregon as we speak."

S3 furnishes General Racer with nanobots to fight Kal K Korff's claims

BREAKING NEWS.

The Israeli Special Secret Services(tm) have recently furnished newly installed General F1 Racer with NANOBOT COMPONENTS.

These nanobots are to be used EXCLUSIVELY to track and prosecute Kal K Korff for Consumer fraud, theft, terrorism, stalking, and Anti-semitism.


Israeli nanobot ready to take down Kal K Korff

"I am pleased to announce this new initiative", S3 General F1 Racer announced from his office in Zurich, "These nanobots are the pinnacle of Israeli technology and will be vital in our war against terrorism, consumer fraud, and Kal Korff."

Kal K Korff served with Cease and Desist.

Internal affairs can now confirm that Kal K Korff has been served by the Israeli Special Secret Services with a Cease and Desist order pertaining to Kal K Korff's continued mis-representation of his alleged ties to the organization.

Newly installed S3 General F1 Racer, in his first day on the job, authorized S3's legal department to issue the order.

"Kal K Korff's continued lies about his alleged involvement with S3 must stop immediately or we will have no choice but to drag Kal in front of a Court of Law and expose him for the putz that he is", General Racer stated from his Tel Aviv office.

The Cease and Desist was sent earlier today, mere moments after General Racer assumed his position.

"This is just the opening shot in S3's War on Terrorism and consumer fraud. Let all the enemies of freedom know, S3 will get you!" General Racer promised from his office in Switzerland.


Public enemy number 1

The Warrant for the arrest of Kal K Korff is still valid within the Czech Republic

F1 Racer joins Israeli Special Secret Services

Public relations can now confirm that noted Internet Blogger F1 racer has joined the REAL Israeli Special Secret Services.

F1 Racer took his oath of Generalship yesterday in front of a judge here in Prague, the Czech Republic.

"This is a great day for me, for Israel, and a bad day for terrorists and consumer fraudsters the world over," General Racer stated afterwards.


BREAKING NEWS
General Racer shows off his spiffy new patch

"I have had many years of combating terrorism, consumer fraud, dvd burning, pet smuggling, bed mattress ripping off of, and so on. This invaluable experience drew the attention of S3, which rightfully saw my value and recruited me into their fine organization." General Racer stated.


S3 spokesman Levi Jeansberg

"F1 Racer will prove to be a valuable member of our organization," S3 spokesman Levi Jeansberg stated, "His experience in fighting all forms of schmuckery will bring terrorists to their knees!"

And what of the claims of Kal K Korff to be a member of S3?

"Kal K Korff is in no way, shape, or form, a member of or associated with the Israeli Special Secret Services. His continued lies and mis-representations about our organization will no longer go unpunished." Mr. Jeansberg stated.

"One of my first acts will be to make sure Kal K Korff is prosecuted for consumer fraud, terrorism, pedophillia, software piracy, theft, and a whole slew of other crimes." General Racer declared.

Warrant issued for Kal Korff's arrest in Czech Republic

BREAKING NEWS

Internal Affairs, speaking with the Czech Minister of Justice, as well as the US Embassy in Prague, can now CONFIRM an arrest warrant for Kal K Korff has been issued in the Czech Republic. This warrant stems from Kal's scamming and outright theft from the Czech Firm Cables & Simms.



The above image has been posted by Cables and Simms in an effort to track down Kal Korff.

Speaking off the record, Internal Affairs was told by the US Embassy that the Czech Police are very serious in their attempt to bring Kal to justice. The Embassy also stated that they have received numerous emails regarding Kal Korff's false claims about the Embassy supposedly working with him, and they flat out deny this is the case.

Internal affairs has contacted the Israeli Embassy with regards to Kal's false claims about his supposed "Israeli Intelligence Agency" job and we expect to hear back on this very soon.

Anyone with any information regarding the current location of Kal K Korff is urged to contact the Czech Police in Prague or the US Embassy in Prague.

Kal K Korff registered as Anti-Semite by Israeli Government

Kal K Korff, noted criminal and con artist, can now add "Registered Anti-Semite" to his resume.

According to Internal Affairs, Kal has been registered by the Israeli Government as an Anti-Semite, which makes prosecution of Kal for consumer fraud and other crimes that much more easier.

Apparently Kal's Usenet posts from 1991 have come back to haunt him. It was THIS blog which EXPOSED the hate posts Kal made many years ago, which have now come back to haunt him.

Kal K Korff HATES Israel. His continued insults to the great Jewish nation and its people have NOW gotten him into worlds of trouble!!!

This blog feels it is our duty to expose Kal K Korff's hatred of all things Jewish so the world can be on its guard against his rantings and ravings!

VIVA ISRAEL!!!

Confirmed: Kal Korff sued for consumer fraud!!!!

Internal affairs has confirmed to me that Kal Korff is being SUED FOR CONSUMER FRAUD IN THE USA.

This all stems from Kal's "Nanobot Challenge" where he alleged that, if you sent him 500 USD he would send you Nanobots in the mail to confirm that he was in possession of said material.

Well apparently, despite the batshit craziness of the claim, a few people DID send Kal 500 USD. And lo and behold Kal sent back....NOTHING.

According to what Internal Affairs was told, when contacted by the de-frauded individuals Kal K Korff claimed he never received their checks..DEAPITE THE FACT THE CHECKS WERE CASHED BY KAL!!!!!!

Hello Kal...you DO know that if you CASH a check the cancelled check GOES BACK TO THE PERSON WHO ISSUED IT.

Apparently the man with the 500 IQ didnt know this and as a result, a lawsuit was filed in Oregon by an individual against Kal for consumer fraud.

THIS IS A TRUE FACT BECAUSE IT IS BEING INVESTIGATED BY INTERNAL AFFAIRS.

KAL KORFF'S SILENCE ON THIS MATTER ONLY CONFIRMS THIS FACT

Kal K Korff admits to hating Jews

STOP THE PRESSES

Kal K Korff, noted pedophile and criminal, professes to be a member of a non-existent Israeli Secret organization known as S3. Kal also claims to be Jewish.

BZZZT

In FACT Kal K Korff is NOT Jewish and, IN FACT, hates Jews and Israel!!!

You want proof? Read this article from the San Jose Mercury news, snippets of which are printed below. They reveal a lof of FACTS about Kal K Korff:


San Jose Mercury News
THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE NO MYSTERY TOO ELUSIVE FOR P.A. MAN
January 23, 1994
JEFF GOTTLIEB, Mercury News Staff Writer

Clearly, though, Kal Korff is different from other tech heads who come home or work to play computer games or watch reruns of "Star Trek." Korff, a college dropout whose job is solving customer software problems at Apple's Claris Corp. software subsidiary in Santa Clara,

A gathering of Nobel Prize winners it isn't. Among its members are a director of videos for local rock groups, a self-trained historian who sells real estate in Sonora, a manager of rock groups, a special effects expert and a graphic artist.


Korff, 31, says he seeks only the truth, wherever the truth may lead

Korff said he is a Christian but rejects further labels.

So in 1994 Kal was 31, which makes him 46 now, NOT 32 as he claims.
In the article he identifies himself as a Christian...NOT JEWISH

And to back up the Kal hates Jews thing, read a post he made on Usenet a year earlier:

Jews are responsible for the problems of the world. There has never been such a leacherous group of people as them
Kalkorff@aol.com

There you have it...Kal K Korff, Jew-hater, criminal, pedophile

Alien confirms: Drop dead Kal Korff!!!!

EXCLUSIVE.

As we all know by now, NASA held a press conference stating they found methane gas on Mars, which is something that MAY be the product of biological life, or it MAY be produced geologically.

They made the case there MAY be microbial lifeforms deep in the Martian soil.

Of course, admitted drug user, pedophile, and Jew-hater Kal K Korff immediately claimed on his website that he scooped CNN, BBC, and even NASA itself with this news.

Kal claims he broke this news on the X Zone on Jan 15th...which is odd considering NASA has the announcement on their website on Jan 12th and Kal has not even been on X-Zone this week according to their website.

In another development to this mess, I was contacted by an ex-resident of Mars (who's location he/she/it requests be kept secret) concerning Kal Korff. I conducted a short Email interview with this lifeform, who expressed outrage over Kal's claims.

F1racer: So how should I address you?

Doug: To pronounce it properly you'd need a second mouth and three tongues, so just call me Doug.



F1racer: Ok Doug, you said you wanted to make a statement regarding Kal Korff?

Doug: yeah, that fucker is a total lunatic. I mean, I tried reading all his bullshit UFO books and he has got everything wrong. I think i can speak with some kind of expertise here.

F1racer: and his statements regarding Mars?

Doug: He's stoned. First off, everyone is looking in the wrong area. The ruins are all under ice caps. We took all the good stuff when we left, but some buildings and shit are still there. Secind, Kal didnt scop jack shit. Damn, my cousin Lenny has been telling Nasa about the Methane gas for ten years. Scoop my brown ass.

F1racer: Any final words on Kal Korff?

Doug: yeah, dont listen to anything that douchebag says. He spews more bullshit than an Altairan Gobbeast!


There you have it!!!!

KAL KORFF DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...........dead serious about being a fat child molesting anti-semitic bastard!

Kal K Korff threatens Steven Spielberg!!!!!!!

One man is one of the most respected, honored, and profitable film directors in all of history.

The other is a fat washed up You Tuber who MOLESTED A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL.

One man has the respect and love of the whole world, especially the Jewish community.

The other masks his hatred of Jews by pretending to be in a non-existent Israeli Organization.

One man has given millions to charities all over the world.

The other stole 45,000 Euros worth of goods from a non-profit company in Prague.

One man is named Steven Spielberg.

The other is Kal K Korff.


Now Kal K Korff, noted pedophile, wanted criminal, and confirmed anti-semite has reached a new low. In one of Kal's craven You Tube productions, he actually threatens Steven Spielberg.

WATCH WITH CAUTION, VIDEO CONTAINS EXTREME AMOUNTS OF BULLSHIT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHBtC-oytTs

Yes, you saw correctly. Kal K Korff claims not only will he expose Steven Spielberg, but that he has been working for a while undermining his career in Hollywood.

I can only hope that this You Tube video is sent to Mr. Spielberg's management and that they drop the hammer down on Kal.

DISCUSS!!!!!!!

Kal Korff: CRACKHEAD!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP THE PRESSES

In a shocking revelation, it seems as though Kal K Korff (KKK) is, possibly, A CRACKHEAD!!!!!!

This would explain numerous erratic displays of behavior by Kal such as suing people for no reason and with no ground, claiming to be a Colonel in a non-existent organization, MOLESTING A 14 YR OLD GIRL etc etc etc.


What new low life activity will Kal get his fat PEDOPHILE ass in next?

The world awaits!



Meanwhile, I have yet to hear from Kal K Korff regarding this blog so I can only assume everything here is TRUE otherwise Kal would be denying it

Kal Korff: Thief!! Tries to stick his Mom with bill for stolen goods!!!

Can Kal K Korff, scam artist and pedo, sink any lower???

Apparently he can!!!

http://www.cables.cz/clanky/varovani-kal-korff-neplatic/1259806312/

For those who cannot read Czech, here is a summary. Kal stole about 48 thousand USD worth of equipment from a company named Cables and Simms. Ka, used his position as English teacher for a NON PROFIT company called ProVás Agency Ltd to fraudulently purchase Apple products. Kal attempted to stick the bill for these goods to ProVás Agency Ltd.

The people at ProVás Agency Ltd informed Cables and Simms that they never wanted this merchandise and that Kal was NEVER AUTHORIZED TO MAKE SUCH A PURCHASE IN THEIR NAME.

Kal, meanwhile, started claiming he was an Apple Sales rep and started selling the goods.

Cables and Simms informed the Police, who then wanted to talkt o Kal.

Kal went on his website and claimed that, as a Super Secret Agent for Israel, he basically could do this sort of behaviour and threatened the owners of Cables and Simms with harm.

Eventually, Cables and Simms, through legal means, managed to discover that Kal has now attempted to shift responsibility of payment TO HIS OWN MOTHER.

Thats right. Kal is trying to pass this off on his mommy to deal with.

You know, when I started this blog my goal was to slander Kal with some nonsense that would make his attempt to sue me so I could legally get him under oath. But since I have started digging, I realize that I dont have to make anything up. The truth is a lot worse than any story I could come up with.

Kal Korff is a racist. An accused pedophile. An apparent thief and con artist. A con man, and an all around piece of shit.

Kal K Korff: Grand Knight of the KKK!!!!!

Ever wonder about Kal's name? look at his initials: Kal K Korff

Look at his convicted felon (and apparent child molester) brother: Kurtis K Korff.

What kind of parent would KNOWINGLY give their children such names?



THIS KIND!!!!!!!!!



THIS is Kal Korff's father...picture provided by an anonymous source. Kal's father is a full blooded card carrying member of the KKK!!! Hence the names of his two sons.

Kurtis K Korff
Kal K Korff

This just PROVES that when Kal spews his bullshit about "Working for Israel" what he really means is "WORKING AGAINST ISRAEL"

Kal hates Jews! He hates blacks! He hates homosexuals!! he LOVES little children though....intimately!!!!

DISCUSS!!!!

Kal Korff: baby seal killer?!?!?!??!

In a shocking twist, it seems, according to un-named sources, Kal Korff MAY in fact, be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of baby seals!!!!!

Details are still being verified, but we can safely say that its is a FACT that, through inaction, Kal Korff is responsible for the deaths of hundreds, if not THOUSANDS, of baby seals.

This DESPITE THE FACT KAL WAS AWARE THESE HELPLESS CREATURES WERE BEING SLAUGHTERED!!!!! It seems Kal Korff turned a blind eye to the wanton killing of these animals, for purposes that have not yet been established!!!!!!

Kla Korff, self proclaimed do gooder and Sooper Sekret Agent, did NOTHING, and MAY have actually CONTRIBUTED to the MURDER of these poor cute baby seals.

I can think of no other crime (for now anyways) that is more horrendous than this! (But gimme a day or so)

KAL KORFF IS A MURDERER!!!!!





(of baby seals!)

Kal Korff: Nazi!??!?!

It has come to our attention Kal Korff MAY in fact be a Nazi! And not just any sort of Nazi, speculation abounds that Kal is in fact a GAY TRANSVESTITE NAZI!!!

Apparently one Helmut von Dumbkoff has stated that, at a local Neo-Nazi meeting in Prague, that Kal Korff is a regular attendee and not only is he a feverent adherent to the teachings of Adolf Hitler, but Kal LOVES Hitler....in the way Michael Jackson LOVES little boys! And that Kal would regularly attend said meetings dressed as Eva Braun!

Herr Von Dumbkoff further stated that Kal Korff wished for a Nazi revival all over Europe. This being the best way, he claimed, to expose people for consumer fraud!!!

So there you have it...Kal Korff....GAY TRANSVESTITE NAZI!??!?!?!?!!?/

Kal Korff pedophile???

Notorious Internet scam artist and scourge of the ex-pat community in Prague, Kal K Korff (KKK) may be a fat pedophile.

According to sources, back when Kal had his lame shitty "column" at Expres, he was contacted by a Czech woman looking for a tutor for her 14 year old daughter.

Unfortunately, she mistook Kal for someone with a brain and asked him to tutor her sweet innocent daughter.

Kal, of course, jumped at the chance! Needless to say it took all of 2 lessons before the girl started to tell her Mom about the "strange way" of teaching Kal used. Turns out ol Kal "I wish I was Peter Sellers in Lolita" Korff was making some very "suggestive" comments to this 14 yr old girl, including asking her if she was a virgin, if she had any "special pictures", if she wanted to go shopping with Kal at Orsay (a clothing store for whores basically) and if she would like to go with Kal to Greece for holiday. He also ended her lessons with giving her a hug...that lasted a BIT too long for her comfort.

The girl's mom, upon hearing this and confronting Kal, was told by Kal point blank that it was in fact THE GIRL who was coming on to Kal, that she was seducing HIM and the reason he hadn't told the Mom yet was that Kal was "gathering evidence" to present to the mother so the girl could "get help" for her "sexual addiction".

It was at that point the girl pulled out her mobile phone and proceeded to play the voice recording she made of Kal asking her some "personal" questions that shut Kal up. Kal, according to the woman, got very agitated and stated he needed to be in Austria the next day and had to go, at which point he pretty much fell out of sight for a few weeks.

So there you have it. Kal K Korff may, perhaps, according to sources, be a pedophile, child abuser, kid molester, and all around pervert.