Sunday, January 25, 2009

S3 confirms: Kal K Korff is NOT Jewish

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Israeli Special Secret Services(tm) aka S3 (tm) has recently confirmed that Kal K Korff is NOT Jewish and is only claiming to be Jewish to try and garner sympathy and for monetary gain.


S3 General F1 Racer, speaking from his office in Haifa, made the announcement yesterday.

"For years Kal K Korff has been claiming to be Jewish. However, THIS IS NOT TRUE as verified by S3's 'Ethnic Investigation Division' which seeks out false claims of being Jewish worldwide", General Racer proclaimed.

"The FACT is Kal K Korff believes in the old false stereotype of Jews controlling the media and banks worldwide and, in an attempt to gain financial profit, has attempted to pass himself off as a Jew. The FACT is Kal is a Christian, an Evangelical one at that, as by his OWN ADMITTANCE in an article in the San Jose Mercury News"

"Kal's false claims enable us here at S3 to prosecute him for hate crimes, which are now being filed in the US state of Oregon as we speak."

Thursday, January 22, 2009

S3 furnishes General Racer with nanobots to fight Kal K Korff's claims

BREAKING NEWS.

The Israeli Special Secret Services(tm) have recently furnished newly installed General F1 Racer with NANOBOT COMPONENTS.

These nanobots are to be used EXCLUSIVELY to track and prosecute Kal K Korff for Consumer fraud, theft, terrorism, stalking, and Anti-semitism.


Israeli nanobot ready to take down Kal K Korff


"I am pleased to announce this new initiative", S3 General F1 Racer announced from his office in Zurich, "These nanobots are the pinnacle of Israeli technology and will be vital in our war against terrorism, consumer fraud, and Kal Korff."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kal K Korff served with Cease and Desist.

Internal affairs can now confirm that Kal K Korff has been served by the Israeli Special Secret Services with a Cease and Desist order pertaining to Kal K Korff's continued mis-representation of his alleged ties to the organization.

Newly installed S3 General F1 Racer, in his first day on the job, authorized S3's legal department to issue the order.

"Kal K Korff's continued lies about his alleged involvement with S3 must stop immediately or we will have no choice but to drag Kal in front of a Court of Law and expose him for the putz that he is", General Racer stated from his Tel Aviv office.

The Cease and Desist was sent earlier today, mere moments after General Racer assumed his position.

"This is just the opening shot in S3's War on Terrorism and consumer fraud. Let all the enemies of freedom know, S3 will get you!" General Racer promised from his office in Switzerland.


Public enemy number 1

The Warrant for the arrest of Kal K Korff is still valid within the Czech Republic

F1 Racer joins Israeli Special Secret Services

Public relations can now confirm that noted Internet Blogger F1 racer has joined the REAL Israeli Special Secret Services.

F1 Racer took his oath of Generalship yesterday in front of a judge here in Prague, the Czech Republic.

"This is a great day for me, for Israel, and a bad day for terrorists and consumer fraudsters the world over," General Racer stated afterwards.


BREAKING NEWS
General Racer shows off his spiffy new patch

"I have had many years of combating terrorism, consumer fraud, dvd burning, pet smuggling, bed mattress ripping off of, and so on. This invaluable experience drew the attention of S3, which rightfully saw my value and recruited me into their fine organization." General Racer stated.


S3 spokesman Levi Jeansberg

"F1 Racer will prove to be a valuable member of our organization," S3 spokesman Levi Jeansberg stated, "His experience in fighting all forms of schmuckery will bring terrorists to their knees!"

And what of the claims of Kal K Korff to be a member of S3?

"Kal K Korff is in no way, shape, or form, a member of or associated with the Israeli Special Secret Services. His continued lies and mis-representations about our organization will no longer go unpunished." Mr. Jeansberg stated.

"One of my first acts will be to make sure Kal K Korff is prosecuted for consumer fraud, terrorism, pedophillia, software piracy, theft, and a whole slew of other crimes." General Racer declared.



Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Warrant issued for Kal Korff's arrest in Czech Republic

BREAKING NEWS

Internal Affairs, speaking with the Czech Minister of Justice, as well as the US Embassy in Prague, can now CONFIRM an arrest warrant for Kal K Korff has been issued in the Czech Republic. This warrant stems from Kal's scamming and outright theft from the Czech Firm Cables & Simms.



The above image has been posted by Cables and Simms in an effort to track down Kal Korff.

Speaking off the record, Internal Affairs was told by the US Embassy that the Czech Police are very serious in their attempt to bring Kal to justice. The Embassy also stated that they have received numerous emails regarding Kal Korff's false claims about the Embassy supposedly working with him, and they flat out deny this is the case.

Internal affairs has contacted the Israeli Embassy with regards to Kal's false claims about his supposed "Israeli Intelligence Agency" job and we expect to hear back on this very soon.

Anyone with any information regarding the current location of Kal K Korff is urged to contact the Czech Police in Prague or the US Embassy in Prague.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Kal K Korff registered as Anti-Semite by Israeli Government

Kal K Korff, noted criminal and con artist, can now add "Registered Anti-Semite" to his resume.

According to Internal Affairs, Kal has been registered by the Israeli Government as an Anti-Semite, which makes prosecution of Kal for consumer fraud and other crimes that much more easier.

Apparently Kal's Usenet posts from 1991 have come back to haunt him. It was THIS blog which EXPOSED the hate posts Kal made many years ago, which have now come back to haunt him.

Kal K Korff HATES Israel. His continued insults to the great Jewish nation and its people have NOW gotten him into worlds of trouble!!!

This blog feels it is our duty to expose Kal K Korff's hatred of all things Jewish so the world can be on its guard against his rantings and ravings!

VIVA ISRAEL!!!

Confirmed: Kal Korff sued for consumer fraud!!!!

Internal affairs has confirmed to me that Kal Korff is being SUED FOR CONSUMER FRAUD IN THE USA.

This all stems from Kal's "Nanobot Challenge" where he alleged that, if you sent him 500 USD he would send you Nanobots in the mail to confirm that he was in possession of said material.

Well apparently, despite the batshit craziness of the claim, a few people DID send Kal 500 USD. And lo and behold Kal sent back....NOTHING.

According to what Internal Affairs was told, when contacted by the de-frauded individuals Kal K Korff claimed he never received their checks..DEAPITE THE FACT THE CHECKS WERE CASHED BY KAL!!!!!!

Hello Kal...you DO know that if you CASH a check the cancelled check GOES BACK TO THE PERSON WHO ISSUED IT.

Apparently the man with the 500 IQ didnt know this and as a result, a lawsuit was filed in Oregon by an individual against Kal for consumer fraud.

THIS IS A TRUE FACT BECAUSE IT IS BEING INVESTIGATED BY INTERNAL AFFAIRS.

KAL KORFF'S SILENCE ON THIS MATTER ONLY CONFIRMS THIS FACT

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Kal K Korff admits to hating Jews

STOP THE PRESSES

Kal K Korff, noted pedophile and criminal, professes to be a member of a non-existent Israeli Secret organization known as S3. Kal also claims to be Jewish.

BZZZT

In FACT Kal K Korff is NOT Jewish and, IN FACT, hates Jews and Israel!!!

You want proof? Read this article from the San Jose Mercury news, snippets of which are printed below. They reveal a lof of FACTS about Kal K Korff:


San Jose Mercury News
THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE NO MYSTERY TOO ELUSIVE FOR P.A. MAN
January 23, 1994
JEFF GOTTLIEB, Mercury News Staff Writer

Clearly, though, Kal Korff is different from other tech heads who come home or work to play computer games or watch reruns of "Star Trek." Korff, a college dropout whose job is solving customer software problems at Apple's Claris Corp. software subsidiary in Santa Clara,

A gathering of Nobel Prize winners it isn't. Among its members are a director of videos for local rock groups, a self-trained historian who sells real estate in Sonora, a manager of rock groups, a special effects expert and a graphic artist.


Korff, 31, says he seeks only the truth, wherever the truth may lead

Korff said he is a Christian but rejects further labels.

So in 1994 Kal was 31, which makes him 46 now, NOT 32 as he claims.
In the article he identifies himself as a Christian...NOT JEWISH

And to back up the Kal hates Jews thing, read a post he made on Usenet a year earlier:

Jews are responsible for the problems of the world. There has never been such a leacherous group of people as them
Kalkorff@aol.com


There you have it...Kal K Korff, Jew-hater, criminal, pedophile

Friday, January 16, 2009

Alien confirms: Drop dead Kal Korff!!!!

EXCLUSIVE.

As we all know by now, NASA held a press conference stating they found methane gas on Mars, which is something that MAY be the product of biological life, or it MAY be produced geologically.

They made the case there MAY be microbial lifeforms deep in the Martian soil.

Of course, admitted drug user, pedophile, and Jew-hater Kal K Korff immediately claimed on his website that he scooped CNN, BBC, and even NASA itself with this news.

Kal claims he broke this news on the X Zone on Jan 15th...which is odd considering NASA has the announcement on their website on Jan 12th and Kal has not even been on X-Zone this week according to their website.

In another development to this mess, I was contacted by an ex-resident of Mars (who's location he/she/it requests be kept secret) concerning Kal Korff. I conducted a short Email interview with this lifeform, who expressed outrage over Kal's claims.

F1racer: So how should I address you?

Doug: To pronounce it properly you'd need a second mouth and three tongues, so just call me Doug.



F1racer: Ok Doug, you said you wanted to make a statement regarding Kal Korff?

Doug: yeah, that fucker is a total lunatic. I mean, I tried reading all his bullshit UFO books and he has got everything wrong. I think i can speak with some kind of expertise here.

F1racer: and his statements regarding Mars?

Doug: He's stoned. First off, everyone is looking in the wrong area. The ruins are all under ice caps. We took all the good stuff when we left, but some buildings and shit are still there. Secind, Kal didnt scop jack shit. Damn, my cousin Lenny has been telling Nasa about the Methane gas for ten years. Scoop my brown ass.

F1racer: Any final words on Kal Korff?

Doug: yeah, dont listen to anything that douchebag says. He spews more bullshit than an Altairan Gobbeast!


There you have it!!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

KAL KORFF DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...........dead serious about being a fat child molesting anti-semitic bastard!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Kal K Korff threatens Steven Spielberg!!!!!!!

One man is one of the most respected, honored, and profitable film directors in all of history.

The other is a fat washed up You Tuber who MOLESTED A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL.

One man has the respect and love of the whole world, especially the Jewish community.

The other masks his hatred of Jews by pretending to be in a non-existent Israeli Organization.

One man has given millions to charities all over the world.

The other stole 45,000 Euros worth of goods from a non-profit company in Prague.

One man is named Steven Spielberg.

The other is Kal K Korff.


Now Kal K Korff, noted pedophile, wanted criminal, and confirmed anti-semite has reached a new low. In one of Kal's craven You Tube productions, he actually threatens Steven Spielberg.

WATCH WITH CAUTION, VIDEO CONTAINS EXTREME AMOUNTS OF BULLSHIT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHBtC-oytTs

Yes, you saw correctly. Kal K Korff claims not only will he expose Steven Spielberg, but that he has been working for a while undermining his career in Hollywood.

I can only hope that this You Tube video is sent to Mr. Spielberg's management and that they drop the hammer down on Kal.

DISCUSS!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Kal Korff: CRACKHEAD!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP THE PRESSES

In a shocking revelation, it seems as though Kal K Korff (KKK) is, possibly, A CRACKHEAD!!!!!!

This would explain numerous erratic displays of behavior by Kal such as suing people for no reason and with no ground, claiming to be a Colonel in a non-existent organization, MOLESTING A 14 YR OLD GIRL etc etc etc.


What new low life activity will Kal get his fat PEDOPHILE ass in next?

The world awaits!



Meanwhile, I have yet to hear from Kal K Korff regarding this blog so I can only assume everything here is TRUE otherwise Kal would be denying it